My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Randomize
