I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
