These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
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I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
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It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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