He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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