I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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