oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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