To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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