i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
