I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
