she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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