I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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