She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize