1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
one two three fourrrrnication!
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
