just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
