Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
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he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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