Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
