I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
