For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
