Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Randomize
