Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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