I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
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