Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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