woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Why is there bacon in the couch?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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