U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
