I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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