Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
