whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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