SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
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