did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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