Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
