I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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