mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
