Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
