Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
