Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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