it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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