Your mouth is God's brothel.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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