did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Randomize
