i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
