In America we eat man semen.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
