just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
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