You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Your cock deserves a montage
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
