im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Actions speak louder than pants.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
