Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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