I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
is that a dick in a sweater?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize