Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
It's blow job season.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
