is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Randomize