From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
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You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
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It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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