Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
barbara walters just said penis...
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
