it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
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He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
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I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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