I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
worst night to have a conscience
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
