Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
