I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize