weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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