Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
