So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
