Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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