Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize