The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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