found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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